Order, is usually, swiftly enforced, by bayonet and bludgeons, forcing these turbulent uncontrollable energies back in to their boxes (bit of mental imagery background to this. Imagine memory as an attic; past events sealed in a series of coffin like wooden boxes; the attic full of these boxes, stacked in disorganized heaps, as well as the usual dust and detritus. The attic lit by one small window in the roof, the dim light of an overcast day leaking in, which gives rise to a rainbow of greys that sprays itself over the room, the boxes, the walls and the floor - waxing lyrical ed)
Given the above, key lyrics like, a part of the song, "Wish You Were Here", by Pink Floyd (see Afterthought for the specific ones), are like the window in the attic on a shimmering blue skied day, where a shaft of light blazes through and strikes a box. This dazzling light acts like a key, and a box opens, just enough for the contents to spew out and create a sudden overwhelming emotional memory storm.
In my mind, lightening strikes, wind howls, rain falls hard and unremitting, volcanoes erupt and my mind is suddenly a maelstrom of chaos, noise, light and unbearable feelings. My stomach heaves and bile rises to my throat, and I want to tilt back my head and howl with the pain, I want to cry and wail... but I cannot, I will not, I must not. (Then you'll have to keep taking the pills - medical ed)
With these uncontainable emotions come flickers of memories that flash and disappear, leaving after images, negative residues like those you have when closing your eyes after inadvertently seeing the sun. Are they true images of actual events or just a mishmash of scenes from real life interwoven with snippets of TV, cinema and books that I have read? I really don't know. It is quite disturbing to fail to believe what your own memory is playing out for you in your mind eyes, to feel the physiscality that these memories mixed with emotions engender and fail to trust them.
But order must be restored. How is it possible for these feelings be lived with? They are simply too overwhelming, all emcompassing, too debilitating, too tiring, too wearing and this is just from a memory(supressed to be sure - ed)? So yet again, years of inner training kick in, order not chaos must rule; logic (Mr. Spock would be proud - science ed) and rationality must triumph over the forces of chaos and untrustworthy emotions and memories.
So what is the point of the above, simply music triggering memory I suppose, and in my case, triggering emotions and events well entrenched in my subconscious.
But it is worth noting, that it is not music alone that can do this to me, there is a film called, "Always", which I have failed to watch twice now, as each time I do, strikes deep into my unconscious and appears to open all the boxes at once. Now, that is something to be avoided as it leaves me a total wreck and in such a state I can no longer watch it!
So, to round up, do I Wish You Were Here. No, certainly not, not with me in my attic, and if you have your own attic full of closed boxes (repressed memories/emotions - ed) be careful about what triggers their opening.
Afterthought
The full lyrics of Wish You Were Here can be found here.
There is another post bubbling under the Top 20 to be called, "Your Lying Eyes", which will cover the idea what we each see is unique and is in fact the creation of each of our own deranged mind. To complement this I noticed in the New Scientist yesterday, a week or so old copy, had a special issue about, "The Self", which in effect boils down to, not only do you not see what is actually there, your mind lies about the timing of actual events, and so not only can you not trust what you think that you are seeing, you cannot trust what you thought you saw! But that is all for another post.
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