Wharever happened to...

...that pesky long promised and not yet delivered Anguish in Aberdeen VI...the one with the Sulphurous Burps Out of All Orifices...

Unfortunately...

 (or fortunately for those who are long time readers suffering as a consequence of reading this blog - R U Sure U Mean That ed?) 

...it has been overtaken by yet another trip to Scotland - the aforementioned ...

(possibly a3mentioned - depending on my mood - ed)

...trip to Inverness - Ullapool - Skype - Fort William...

 (dang nabbit - finally remembered the name of the place - well we did end up spending a night there in an unexpected hotel - "Whaddaya Mean Unexpected Hotel?" - and yes there is a story about an unexpected hotel to relate if I can get this out before The Household Sanity (tm) spots me writing this. A post, a post, my kingdom for a post - circulation ed)

...and back to Inverness.

Packing Density 

One, of potentially many problems, going to Scotland in May, is that you just canna (she canna take it Cap'n - TOS ed) trust the weather.

The problem was what to pack to cope with the multitude of potential weather scenarios.

The kitchen sink was discarded early on in the game; this meant the kitchen refit has been postponed yet again. IF (big bold if - ed) we had taken the kitchen sink to Scotland we could have fly-tipped it on arrival which would have forced us into buying a new kitchen sink or perhaps a whole new kitchen on our return home.

Though, in the mean time, it would have been fun running the taps with no kitchen sink, do I mean fun - probably not - but it would have been watery and we all know, "water = fun", don't we?

Focus - damn it.

And focus -> back to the weather.

Apparently the best process is to pack for all weathers...

 (though the sun tan lotion, Italian loafers and swimming trunks weren't taken, which on reflection turned out to be a partial mistake. 

An hour or so on a calm day in and around Portree on a boat, looking at seals, Sea Eagles and failing to spot assorted cetaceans, caused Bridget to get a burnt nose - well it was the only part of her that wasn't fully covered, so the sun tan lotion wouldn't have been so stupid after all - such is life ed)

... so we did.

We packed for all weathers and nary a drop of rain was felt over the whole six days.

"What, you went to Scotland and it didn't rain!".

 Yup, this is absolutely true, though we did claim credit for bringing the good weather with us.

Locals

The locals...

 (well the few that I managed to corner; as they are smart and quick and kept seeing me coming; and managed talk at [to], did seem to suggest that it had snowed, blown a gale and horizontally rained the previous week. 

But I think they were just exaggerating to make us feel special. They really know how to treat visitors.) 

...for some reason kept on changing, that is, they were not the same locals each day!

I think that this was linked with us driving from place to place and they could not keep up with us.

I guess the locals have their own lives to live in their local towns and villages. How weird is that?

I have two theories about the locals telling us about the weather:

1. They really had had bad weather the previous week (had had bad - brilliant - English  ed)

2. They actually had great weather the previous week and they were just pretending it was bad to make us feel good.

I vote 2.

(Where is William of Ockham and his razor when you need him - sanity ed)

Losing the plot

What gave me great pleasure...

 (well that certainly cannot to be mentioned on a family blog - ed) 

... escapes me - I wandered back to correct something I wrote earlier.... and now I haven't a clue where I was going with that..... if it comes back to me at some point I will return and continue from this point ->.<- here.

We went to Scotters Botters the first week in May...

 (2017 - I mention the year for those of you who have lost not only the will to live whilst reading this post but who have been pricked by a spinning wheel and are waking up many many years later after being kissed by a Prince [May he rest in peace - musical ed] or a frog - I forget which is the right one. 

Though some of my reader(s) feedback, who when asked, expressed a preference said, "Just get on with it", I mean how rude can they be?  - ed)

... in case you were wondering.

(They will have all wandered off by now - circulation ed. Were you going anywhere with this?)

Errm, no - well and truly lost the thread.

Time to move on to something I can remember. I'm 89 years odd you know (do you mean old? Nope - I know exactly what I mean - ed) . 

Did I mention Uncle Mike?

Uncle Mike, who had also expressed a preference, but despite that, still wanted to come along with us on our Road Trip Around Scotland - With Exceptional Weather (tm) just for the fun.

The Amsterdam Trip - With Sightings of Van Gogh (tm) had been such a roaring success last year, he wanted to do it again.

Strangely we had fabulous weather in Amsterdam too - it just may be that Uncle Mike is our lucky weather mascot. He is available out on loan, for a modestly large fee, please contact me if this is of any interest.

(I would like to say that there is an, "Amsterdam Trip - the Untold Story",  blog post lurking somewhere in my mental back log ....

 along with oh so many many other things...

 so don't hold your breath - unless you happen to be underwater and trying for the Guinness Book of Records longest breath underwater record..... 

...in that case do hold your breath!

 But even then it won't be long enough to hang on until the Amsterdam blog post is published. 

If you like I could publish a holding post with just the title and a TBC if you like, if it would help. 

Helpful is my middle name after all.)

Did I mention Bridget?

Bridget, who had also expressed a preference, "I am not flying out of Bristol with Easy Jet, so bite me", or some words to that effect, decided we would be heading to Inverness...

 (I am not at all sure how I can suggest, in writing, how nice Inverness sounds when spoken with the local Scottish accent (Inverness version) - it simply makes me quiver - but then so many things do - "Toast", or, "Apple Crumble" generally do it - whatever the accent - Strange But True ed)

... from Heathrow and be flying BA...

(I was and am still unclear what Business Analysts have to do with aviation, but perhaps I am wearing my stupid hat again - ed) 

(On another thread - mental wheels are just keep on spinning [round and round like a record baby] - and for some reason, "Fly the Flag", has popped into my mind? 

How does that work? 

Flying a flag means running it up the flag pole - how does that get us from Heathrow to Inverness? - "Confused again like I was last Summer. Confused again like I was last year".... please stop, argh)

Logistical Contortions

The trip to Amsterdam...

 (where we did in fact see tulips - I do have photos - I'be been going to generate a link to them for some time - but things change, time passes and memories fade...) 

..was managed by flying from Bristol after a daring early morning drive using the A303, A36 and assorted (liquorice? ed) B roads,; to pick up Uncle Mike and drive slowly through one of the most scenic routes to Bristol Airport ever envisioned.

Seriously, I would go back and drive it again - and I don't like driving (or Tuesday's)
.

Utterly stunning countryside, fantastic views, beautiful villages, majestic trees and finally with what seemed like infinite succession of articulated lorries coming the opposite direction, each with gesticulating drivers pointing at their SatNavs and shrugging their shoulders at us as we were forced to  reverse around blind bends, just praying that there was not another articulated lorry coming up from behind us.

Apparently we used KLM...

(or their partner airline, with the fulfilment of the flight being KLM, it really is quite confusing. For some reason I just recall the "KLM blue" close fitting trousers worn by one of the air stewardesses - after that the flight became one of my many many happy places. [Best you don't read this bit Bridget])

... which was a good thing (not quite sure why it was a good thing, possibly because it was a Dutch airline and it was flying to Holland - ed)

Where am I going with this post.

I really haven't a clue, which is generally the time I need to stop.

Tulips from Amsterdam.

Apparently I have already blogged a link to the photos from the Amsterdam trip.