Definition:-
Index of the ability to give a damn, or in fact a "hoot".
This can range from zero (0) - where no hoots are given, to the maximum two (2) hoots. So depending where you are on this scale, is your current "Hootability".
General Usage: "He couldn't give two hoots, whether it works or not". (This is a "bad" thing)
Specific Usage: "She came in on a Sunday to get the project finished; she really gave two hoots" (This is a good thing, apart from the coming to work on a Sunday)
Emoji Usage: The "Owl" symbol is used to denote ones "Hootability".
Other Example Usage: "I am all out of hoots"; "I am in a hoot free zone right now".
Debate
How quickly can you regain your hootability once lost?
How long can you lose your hootability for? If lost, where did it go and what caused it to go? Was it having a holiday without you, and if so, where, and who did it invite?
Where does your hootability come from? Is it an innate characteristic? Can you learn it? (Yes, please contact me for the next, "Hootability - how to give a damn!", course. There is a special 30% increase in cost, if you mention this post and give me an example of how you give two hoots - training ed)
Is your hootability dependent on particular aspects of your life? For instance, can you give a hoot on one particular thing - but give no hoots on everything else? Compare and contrast the things you give two hoots about, to those you don't, discuss.
Is your hootability linked to your Biorhythms or perhaps the amount of alcohol you consume?
Can you recharge your hootability, perhaps with a holiday?
Can you get a prescription from your Doctor to help?
Will talking to the "Wise Old Owl", help you recover from a massive and sustained hootability failure?
Will just the passing of time, regenerate your hootability abilities?
Afterthought
Just what on Earth am I talking about?
Strangely, no alcohol was consumed in the construction of this inanity, it being a "School Night".
Post Afterthought
Did you spot the fact that I am prepared to charge you 30% more if you mention this blog post, when you ask about the next time I am running the course.
Naturally some of you will ask, "Is there a real course?", to which the answer is, "Yes, if enough of you want one, then I shall create one!"
From my Google Statistics Module the most favoured posts on this blog are:
IR35
Freelance IT Contractors
Ironing
EE - The Annual Event
David's curated list of TED Talks
Monday 18 March 2019
Thursday 14 March 2019
Subjects of Rage
There is a rage building.
It has been building for a while.
It seems to be the sum of a lot of smaller bothersome things.
Perhaps, a series of things that we might call "Ragelets"
Now I should come of with a term for that (you have, you have just added a link, a line of two above -ed), The David Scratchabiity Index (DSI) to give a scale of minor itching to the full on need to rip the skin from your body to relieve the incessant itching with a really deep scratch. I am sure that scratching is tied into something quite deep in our brain, because the relief is deeply deeply satisfying.
Hmm, ragelets, "Hey David" what could possibly be generating these so called ragelets .
Seems I might have to answer that with my starter for ten response, "Well that is an interesting question" - well I do believe that is an understatement to say the least.
So, Mr Collins - can you elucidate?
There seems to a number of themes - and in no particular order:-
Work
Bureaucracy
UK and the EU
Da Government
Facts vs Lies
The Media
Democracy
The Economy
Company CEO Pay
The Finance Industry
Gender this that and the other
Manufacturing in the UK
The Nation State
The Euro
Mental Health
Statistics and Lies
The Environment and Climate Change
Free Trade
Litter
UK Housing
Veganism with meat bonus
Dairy Intolerance
Speeding Cars
Lack of Common Sense
General Stupidity
Barking Dogs
Careless Dog Owners (or that's no snake lurking in the grass it's dog poop)
The Pointlessness of Cats
Pets in General
Most Shop Staff
Insurance Companies
Banks
Austerity
Political Parties
Emojis
Walking/Driving/Breathing and Texting at the same time.
Diets (nothing to do with the Japanese parliament)
Conspiracies
Bit of a big list I know - but there is so much that needs to be addressed in this country and that gets right on my nerves. (Ooh, does each one generate a ragelet I wonder - ed)
What I may try and do is flesh out different items from the above list, to amuse myself, and perhaps even you, my dear, lonely reader, but the night is drawing in, and not doing a great job of it, as the pencil is a bit blunt and night has got its eyes shut (again), so is making quite a mess of it.
Afterthought
Haven't done one of these in a while, but that is probably for the best.
It has been building for a while.
It seems to be the sum of a lot of smaller bothersome things.
Perhaps, a series of things that we might call "Ragelets"
Now I should come of with a term for that (you have, you have just added a link, a line of two above -ed), The David Scratchabiity Index (DSI) to give a scale of minor itching to the full on need to rip the skin from your body to relieve the incessant itching with a really deep scratch. I am sure that scratching is tied into something quite deep in our brain, because the relief is deeply deeply satisfying.
Hmm, ragelets, "Hey David" what could possibly be generating these so called ragelets .
Seems I might have to answer that with my starter for ten response, "Well that is an interesting question" - well I do believe that is an understatement to say the least.
So, Mr Collins - can you elucidate?
There seems to a number of themes - and in no particular order:-
Work
Bureaucracy
UK and the EU
Da Government
Facts vs Lies
The Media
Democracy
The Economy
Company CEO Pay
The Finance Industry
Gender this that and the other
Manufacturing in the UK
The Nation State
The Euro
Mental Health
Statistics and Lies
The Environment and Climate Change
Free Trade
Litter
UK Housing
Veganism with meat bonus
Dairy Intolerance
Speeding Cars
Lack of Common Sense
General Stupidity
Barking Dogs
Careless Dog Owners (or that's no snake lurking in the grass it's dog poop)
The Pointlessness of Cats
Pets in General
Most Shop Staff
Insurance Companies
Banks
Austerity
Political Parties
Emojis
Walking/Driving/Breathing and Texting at the same time.
Diets (nothing to do with the Japanese parliament)
Conspiracies
Bit of a big list I know - but there is so much that needs to be addressed in this country and that gets right on my nerves. (Ooh, does each one generate a ragelet I wonder - ed)
What I may try and do is flesh out different items from the above list, to amuse myself, and perhaps even you, my dear, lonely reader, but the night is drawing in, and not doing a great job of it, as the pencil is a bit blunt and night has got its eyes shut (again), so is making quite a mess of it.
Afterthought
Haven't done one of these in a while, but that is probably for the best.
Ragelet
Definition: Ragelet
noun:
1. A very minor irritation
Perhaps like a single mosquito bite.
Which, if you are Bridget blows up into a tennis ball sized red monstrosity, within what seems like minutes, but if me, just another things on my body that I have to scratch.
Perhaps even generated by a new improved work process that is in fact a step backwards, as it consumes more of your time for absolutely no personal benefit (but saves other people time and money).
Perhaps generated by simple spelling mistake e.g. "passsports" with that slippery extra "s".
Perhaps generated by cars speeding through a 20 mph zone at closer to 40 mph with nary a concern.
Perhaps generated by cars/vans/trucks going through road side puddles and blithely unaware and uninterested as they pick their noses, eat their breakfast, text, talk on the phone, do their hair as they splash that unwary highly visible pedestrian with a tsunami of water.
Perhaps generated by another piece of unthought out, over worded, unimplementable, unfit for purpose piece of Government legislation that not only fails to address the issue that it purportedly is supposed to address but makes life that little bit more difficult for everyone that comes into contact with it
Note: ragelet is not a word that is in general usage (as I have made it up, ooh - one sec while I google it - yep - not out there in internet land, so another word first for me).
How it relates to me
I see ragelets (oh yes, there are normally found in large groups, usually lurking in the corners of you mind) as set of small things that are added one at a time to my mental landscape and have over perhaps the last year or two, created a vast monstrous palace (Gormenghast - ain't got nothing on it - I can tell you) of rage about what seems to be almost everything that I see, read, watch and have to deal with. But that is a different post.
Note: A ragelet (all by itself, is nary a danger) , however, with time and effort and the subtle addition of its brethren (other ragelets), maybe one here, one there, a couple from behind the sofa, bloom into a damn good inferno of rage.
Be warned. Ragelet induced rage is one of the most concerning epidemics of our times.
Just don't mention IR35 or Brexit whilst I am in earshot.
It seems that the use of certain words or short phrases can generate a cascade of self-perpetuating ragelets, that can quickly form into a black rage in just a few short but in no way sweet moments , I can tell you!
Also, as can anyone who has been there when it has happened to me.
Some of these poor people are still on the path to recovery.
I do visit them from time to time in the post-rage unit (PRU) , with flowers and fruit, not sure why I do that, but it seems appropriate; though the nurses keep telling me to ditch the flowers as they can trigger asthma attacks, sigh.
noun:
1. A very minor irritation
Perhaps like a single mosquito bite.
Which, if you are Bridget blows up into a tennis ball sized red monstrosity, within what seems like minutes, but if me, just another things on my body that I have to scratch.
Perhaps even generated by a new improved work process that is in fact a step backwards, as it consumes more of your time for absolutely no personal benefit (but saves other people time and money).
Perhaps generated by simple spelling mistake e.g. "passsports" with that slippery extra "s".
Perhaps generated by cars speeding through a 20 mph zone at closer to 40 mph with nary a concern.
Perhaps generated by cars/vans/trucks going through road side puddles and blithely unaware and uninterested as they pick their noses, eat their breakfast, text, talk on the phone, do their hair as they splash that unwary highly visible pedestrian with a tsunami of water.
Perhaps generated by another piece of unthought out, over worded, unimplementable, unfit for purpose piece of Government legislation that not only fails to address the issue that it purportedly is supposed to address but makes life that little bit more difficult for everyone that comes into contact with it
Note: ragelet is not a word that is in general usage (as I have made it up, ooh - one sec while I google it - yep - not out there in internet land, so another word first for me).
How it relates to me
I see ragelets (oh yes, there are normally found in large groups, usually lurking in the corners of you mind) as set of small things that are added one at a time to my mental landscape and have over perhaps the last year or two, created a vast monstrous palace (Gormenghast - ain't got nothing on it - I can tell you) of rage about what seems to be almost everything that I see, read, watch and have to deal with. But that is a different post.
Note: A ragelet (all by itself, is nary a danger) , however, with time and effort and the subtle addition of its brethren (other ragelets), maybe one here, one there, a couple from behind the sofa, bloom into a damn good inferno of rage.
Be warned. Ragelet induced rage is one of the most concerning epidemics of our times.
Just don't mention IR35 or Brexit whilst I am in earshot.
It seems that the use of certain words or short phrases can generate a cascade of self-perpetuating ragelets, that can quickly form into a black rage in just a few short but in no way sweet moments , I can tell you!
Also, as can anyone who has been there when it has happened to me.
Some of these poor people are still on the path to recovery.
I do visit them from time to time in the post-rage unit (PRU) , with flowers and fruit, not sure why I do that, but it seems appropriate; though the nurses keep telling me to ditch the flowers as they can trigger asthma attacks, sigh.
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