Heated Exhaustion (Prima parte)

Sitting on a rooftop terrace …

(where else would a terrace be, one  might ask - perhaps with an agricultural hat on and in my case a straw hat  - the side of a hill),

…on a black wicker chair …

(where is Alan these days, sadly not only past his prime, but dead and gone for too many years)

...with thin, but comfortable and even potentially elegant white cushions. The city around me has fallen almost but not quite silent.

There is the slight rush of air from the occasional car passing by the end of the road. But most cars have retired into the shade, like most, if not all, of the people and certainly all of the sane dogs.

The barking dogs from yesterday evening have quieted.  

Yesterday, a Sunday, (but that is not what the locals call it, but whatever Italian word means Sunday, the underlying meaning is the same), was the end of last week, and I believe that a few of the dogs were a bit behind on their Barking Quota (™) and so had to catch up before midnight otherwise the Barking Guardia Locali (™) would be chasing them with fines. 

Apparently if the Barking Quota (™) is not fulfilled every week, there is a withdrawal of some dog rights. This can be quite difficult for the owners and perhaps even for the dog, to endure.

The rights come in two stages:

The first stage

This is the withdrawal of Pavement Pooping Rights (™), which is more detrimental to the dog owner than the dog, as the dogs are going do what dogs do and do the poop come what may.

This then means that the dog is only allowed to Foul At Home (™) which, for some reason as yet to be ascertained, the owners do not appear to be so keen on.

The second stage

This is the removal of Rights to Walkies (™), which means that the owner is stuck with a dog that is not allowed to leave the house and so can only Poop at Home (™).

As you can imagine the owners are thus incentivised to ensure that their dog(s) meet their commitments.

So, whilst you are sitting outside on a balmy Sunday night...

 (perhaps on a rooftop terrace, with a cool glass of local Rose  wine, after a fabulous meal in an restaurant with well “conditioned air” - a most amusing translation. Whatsmore I even have a photo to prove it. Available on request. Terms and conditions apply. Only one photo per household.), 

...wondering why the owners of the dogs that are barking, on and and on (and on some more if you haven’t being paying enough attention), don’t stop them…. 

Now you know and are thus more informed about Barking Dogs than you were just a few short minutes ago.