Definition: Mandate: The power that a UK Government believes it has been given by the electorate, after having been elected by a decidedly small fraction of the actual electorate, using an archaic, unfair electoral voting system.
This power (or mandate), together with an unread Political Manifesto, allows the said Government free rein to bring into force whatever law it sees fit during its time in office.
This time in office always ends in failure.
Note: The mandate is officially revoked, if, at the next General Election, the Government of the day is beaten by an opposition party, in what is known colloquially as, "Kicking the lying, cheating, b******* out of office".
Naturally, this leads to one set of Manifesto driven, lying cheating, b******* being replaced with another set of Manifesto driven, lying, cheating, b*******.
In this way Democracy is upheld in the United Kingdom.
May God Bless The United Kingdom and all who sail in her.
Addendum:
For a longer more interesting take on this see an earlier blog post Democratic Deficit - Mandates a-gogo.
For a much shorter idea of mandate see this very short for me blog post: Nano-mandate
Tuesday 30 May 2017
Definition: Political Manifesto
Political Manifesto: The most unread pieces of documentation ever written. Documents such as these, also known to some as, "A Tissue of Lies", are generally published in the weeks and months before a UK General Election.
In the General Election 2017 (as seen on BBC - ed) this has been in the weeks before the election due to its rather novel title of, "A Snap Election - or cut and run whilst the polls are in your favour (tm)".
The point of a Manifesto is to (fool the electorate - ed), set out each of the political parties plans for the damage they will do to the country IF (big if - ed) they gain a majority of the Members of Parliament (MPs) in the House of Commons.
The smarter of the parties will put nothing of any importance into the document, as it will potentially tie their hands if they manage to inveigle (fool the voting public in sufficient numbers - ed) on their way into becoming the Government.
A Government likes to have as few, "Manifesto Promises - or lies by any other name (tm)", as possible to adhere to, (these promises are of profound import, and changing your mind or breaking a manifesto promise is seen by some as the most heinous political crime ever envisaged - ed)
The more honest (and so less likely to be actually elected) of the parties, put in as much detail as possible to convince the general public that they know what they are doing.
These honest and so totally unelectable parties want to ensure that there are at least one or two parts of their manifesto that anyone, who is wavering in their allegiance to another party, might find it within themselves to vote for them, because of something (anything at all, go on vote for me) they liked in the manifesto.
In the General Election 2017 (as seen on BBC - ed) this has been in the weeks before the election due to its rather novel title of, "A Snap Election - or cut and run whilst the polls are in your favour (tm)".
The point of a Manifesto is to (fool the electorate - ed), set out each of the political parties plans for the damage they will do to the country IF (big if - ed) they gain a majority of the Members of Parliament (MPs) in the House of Commons.
The smarter of the parties will put nothing of any importance into the document, as it will potentially tie their hands if they manage to inveigle (fool the voting public in sufficient numbers - ed) on their way into becoming the Government.
A Government likes to have as few, "Manifesto Promises - or lies by any other name (tm)", as possible to adhere to, (these promises are of profound import, and changing your mind or breaking a manifesto promise is seen by some as the most heinous political crime ever envisaged - ed)
The more honest (and so less likely to be actually elected) of the parties, put in as much detail as possible to convince the general public that they know what they are doing.
These honest and so totally unelectable parties want to ensure that there are at least one or two parts of their manifesto that anyone, who is wavering in their allegiance to another party, might find it within themselves to vote for them, because of something (anything at all, go on vote for me) they liked in the manifesto.
Election 2017 - or let's all laugh at Jeremy Corbyn (very very unfair)
I blinked and apparently we are having yet another election.
Not sure why (see Electionitis) but the BBC are now talking about Election 2017, which is a follow up to the long running successful series: Election 2015 and 2010.
Apparently a UK General Election, is like things called "X-Factor", "The Voice", "Strictly Come Dancing", and various other TV programs, where the public vote for something meaningful, whether it is more meaningful or not than a General Election is a totally different question.
Elections in the UK are part of a very long running series that has involved more and more people over a long period of time.
We may have the Mother of All Parliaments but it less than a hundred years since we "all" had the vote, necessarily those under 18 are not allowed to vote - as they don't pay any taxes, or use public services, oops - actually they do. Maybe we need a Representation of the Small People Act
Initially the Reform Act of 1832, and its follow up acts The Reform Act of 1867, Representation of the People Act - 1884 and the most astonishing act of them all, where 'gasp', women were given the vote, the boldly named: Representation of the People Act 1918.
For all full list of all the Representation of the People Acts (as there have been very very many over the last century see the unbelievable list at the end of this article.
For some reason that escapes me the law on this keeps changing? I am sure this is just to to keep the Rotten Boroughs system alive and kicking into the 21st Century.
By the way, the axiom that every vote counts is so, so untrue - it really depends on which constituency you are in. Though, it is naturally all the other home nations (Northern Ireland, Wales and Scotland) where the votes for the various assemblies and parliaments have been set up to be much fairer than in a UK General Election. Maybe there is a need for yet another "Representation of the People Act 2017 - you're vote really does count (tm)"
TV Coverage
It seems that David Dimbleby is doing election night again (and there was me hoping for Huw Edwards - the best thing to come of of Whales since Jonah and Geppeto - 0/10 fake news ed).
Now you may not know it, but I LOVE ELECTIONS (did I say that out loud - ed). It is one of the few times I get to draw these small square boxes on a piece of paper, write None of the Above, next to it, and then tick that box and put it into a ballot box.
Sadly, no matter how often I do this - one of the above seems to get elected. It is most unfair.
Mandate
I was going to have a minor rantette (no relation to the Ronnettes - musical ed) about each and every Government that has been elected since the War (more interestingly which War would that be - history ed) and it's so called mandate.
But I won't.
So I am hopeful you are relieved about that as I am.
Having decided not to rant - I have settled down with my shoes and socks off in a really cool front room (sadly with no alcohol to hand - it is a school night after all - ed) to post this blog - and if I start ranting again I may fail to get it published - and Election 2017 - is a week Thursday!
Hmmm
But I do get the urge to create a definition for mandate... but not tonight Josephine, there appears to be yet another questioning of the two main contenders for the next Prime Minister to be watched on the TV.
I have to keep apologising to the neighbours as I tend to shout quite loudly at the TV when I watch these programs - no matter which politician it is they avoid the question, obfuscate, lie, blatantly lie, twist the truth and fail to answer the question.
Jeremy Corbyn
I have not laughed at Jeremy - I paid my £3 and helped get him elected (well I thought about doing it - so that is just as real as actually doing it, isn't it - thought police ed).
Not sure why (see Electionitis) but the BBC are now talking about Election 2017, which is a follow up to the long running successful series: Election 2015 and 2010.
Apparently a UK General Election, is like things called "X-Factor", "The Voice", "Strictly Come Dancing", and various other TV programs, where the public vote for something meaningful, whether it is more meaningful or not than a General Election is a totally different question.
Elections in the UK are part of a very long running series that has involved more and more people over a long period of time.
We may have the Mother of All Parliaments but it less than a hundred years since we "all" had the vote, necessarily those under 18 are not allowed to vote - as they don't pay any taxes, or use public services, oops - actually they do. Maybe we need a Representation of the Small People Act
Initially the Reform Act of 1832, and its follow up acts The Reform Act of 1867, Representation of the People Act - 1884 and the most astonishing act of them all, where 'gasp', women were given the vote, the boldly named: Representation of the People Act 1918.
For all full list of all the Representation of the People Acts (as there have been very very many over the last century see the unbelievable list at the end of this article.
For some reason that escapes me the law on this keeps changing? I am sure this is just to to keep the Rotten Boroughs system alive and kicking into the 21st Century.
By the way, the axiom that every vote counts is so, so untrue - it really depends on which constituency you are in. Though, it is naturally all the other home nations (Northern Ireland, Wales and Scotland) where the votes for the various assemblies and parliaments have been set up to be much fairer than in a UK General Election. Maybe there is a need for yet another "Representation of the People Act 2017 - you're vote really does count (tm)"
TV Coverage
It seems that David Dimbleby is doing election night again (and there was me hoping for Huw Edwards - the best thing to come of of Whales since Jonah and Geppeto - 0/10 fake news ed).
Now you may not know it, but I LOVE ELECTIONS (did I say that out loud - ed). It is one of the few times I get to draw these small square boxes on a piece of paper, write None of the Above, next to it, and then tick that box and put it into a ballot box.
Sadly, no matter how often I do this - one of the above seems to get elected. It is most unfair.
Mandate
I was going to have a minor rantette (no relation to the Ronnettes - musical ed) about each and every Government that has been elected since the War (more interestingly which War would that be - history ed) and it's so called mandate.
But I won't.
So I am hopeful you are relieved about that as I am.
Having decided not to rant - I have settled down with my shoes and socks off in a really cool front room (sadly with no alcohol to hand - it is a school night after all - ed) to post this blog - and if I start ranting again I may fail to get it published - and Election 2017 - is a week Thursday!
Hmmm
But I do get the urge to create a definition for mandate... but not tonight Josephine, there appears to be yet another questioning of the two main contenders for the next Prime Minister to be watched on the TV.
I have to keep apologising to the neighbours as I tend to shout quite loudly at the TV when I watch these programs - no matter which politician it is they avoid the question, obfuscate, lie, blatantly lie, twist the truth and fail to answer the question.
Jeremy Corbyn
I have not laughed at Jeremy - I paid my £3 and helped get him elected (well I thought about doing it - so that is just as real as actually doing it, isn't it - thought police ed).
Friday 26 May 2017
Definition: Electionitis
Electionitis: A political condition, caused by a small majority and a big lead in the polls, whereby the Government of the day decides to 'cut and run' to try and get a larger 'mandate' from the people.
Currently being suffered by the United Kingdom.
Currently being suffered by the United Kingdom.
Wharever happened to...
...that pesky long promised and not yet delivered Anguish in Aberdeen VI...the one with the Sulphurous Burps Out of All Orifices...
Unfortunately...
(or fortunately for those who are long time readers suffering as a consequence of reading this blog - R U Sure U Mean That ed?)
...it has been overtaken by yet another trip to Scotland - the aforementioned ...
(possibly a3mentioned - depending on my mood - ed)
...trip to Inverness - Ullapool - Skype - Fort William...
(dang nabbit - finally remembered the name of the place - well we did end up spending a night there in an unexpected hotel - "Whaddaya Mean Unexpected Hotel?" - and yes there is a story about an unexpected hotel to relate if I can get this out before The Household Sanity (tm) spots me writing this. A post, a post, my kingdom for a post - circulation ed)
...and back to Inverness.
Packing Density
One, of potentially many problems, going to Scotland in May, is that you just canna (she canna take it Cap'n - TOS ed) trust the weather.
The problem was what to pack to cope with the multitude of potential weather scenarios.
The kitchen sink was discarded early on in the game; this meant the kitchen refit has been postponed yet again. IF (big bold if - ed) we had taken the kitchen sink to Scotland we could have fly-tipped it on arrival which would have forced us into buying a new kitchen sink or perhaps a whole new kitchen on our return home.
Though, in the mean time, it would have been fun running the taps with no kitchen sink, do I mean fun - probably not - but it would have been watery and we all know, "water = fun", don't we?
Focus - damn it.
And focus -> back to the weather.
Apparently the best process is to pack for all weathers...
(though the sun tan lotion, Italian loafers and swimming trunks weren't taken, which on reflection turned out to be a partial mistake.
An hour or so on a calm day in and around Portree on a boat, looking at seals, Sea Eagles and failing to spot assorted cetaceans, caused Bridget to get a burnt nose - well it was the only part of her that wasn't fully covered, so the sun tan lotion wouldn't have been so stupid after all - such is life ed)
... so we did.
We packed for all weathers and nary a drop of rain was felt over the whole six days.
"What, you went to Scotland and it didn't rain!".
Yup, this is absolutely true, though we did claim credit for bringing the good weather with us.
Locals
The locals...
(well the few that I managed to corner; as they are smart and quick and kept seeing me coming; and managed talk at [to], did seem to suggest that it had snowed, blown a gale and horizontally rained the previous week.
But I think they were just exaggerating to make us feel special. They really know how to treat visitors.)
...for some reason kept on changing, that is, they were not the same locals each day!
I think that this was linked with us driving from place to place and they could not keep up with us.
I guess the locals have their own lives to live in their local towns and villages. How weird is that?
I have two theories about the locals telling us about the weather:
1. They really had had bad weather the previous week (had had bad - brilliant - English ed)
2. They actually had great weather the previous week and they were just pretending it was bad to make us feel good.
I vote 2.
(Where is William of Ockham and his razor when you need him - sanity ed)
Losing the plot
What gave me great pleasure...
(well that certainly cannot to be mentioned on a family blog - ed)
... escapes me - I wandered back to correct something I wrote earlier.... and now I haven't a clue where I was going with that..... if it comes back to me at some point I will return and continue from this point ->.<- here.
We went to Scotters Botters the first week in May...
(2017 - I mention the year for those of you who have lost not only the will to live whilst reading this post but who have been pricked by a spinning wheel and are waking up many many years later after being kissed by a Prince [May he rest in peace - musical ed] or a frog - I forget which is the right one.
Though some of my reader(s) feedback, who when asked, expressed a preference said, "Just get on with it", I mean how rude can they be? - ed)
... in case you were wondering.
(They will have all wandered off by now - circulation ed. Were you going anywhere with this?)
Errm, no - well and truly lost the thread.
Time to move on to something I can remember. I'm 89 years odd you know (do you mean old? Nope - I know exactly what I mean - ed) .
Did I mention Uncle Mike?
Uncle Mike, who had also expressed a preference, but despite that, still wanted to come along with us on our Road Trip Around Scotland - With Exceptional Weather (tm) just for the fun.
The Amsterdam Trip - With Sightings of Van Gogh (tm) had been such a roaring success last year, he wanted to do it again.
Strangely we had fabulous weather in Amsterdam too - it just may be that Uncle Mike is our lucky weather mascot. He is available out on loan, for a modestly large fee, please contact me if this is of any interest.
(I would like to say that there is an, "Amsterdam Trip - the Untold Story", blog post lurking somewhere in my mental back log ....
along with oh so many many other things...
so don't hold your breath - unless you happen to be underwater and trying for the Guinness Book of Records longest breath underwater record.....
...in that case do hold your breath!
But even then it won't be long enough to hang on until the Amsterdam blog post is published.
If you like I could publish a holding post with just the title and a TBC if you like, if it would help.
Helpful is my middle name after all.)
Did I mention Bridget?
Bridget, who had also expressed a preference, "I am not flying out of Bristol with Easy Jet, so bite me", or some words to that effect, decided we would be heading to Inverness...
(I am not at all sure how I can suggest, in writing, how nice Inverness sounds when spoken with the local Scottish accent (Inverness version) - it simply makes me quiver - but then so many things do - "Toast", or, "Apple Crumble" generally do it - whatever the accent - Strange But True ed)
... from Heathrow and be flying BA...
(I was and am still unclear what Business Analysts have to do with aviation, but perhaps I am wearing my stupid hat again - ed)
(On another thread - mental wheels are just keep on spinning [round and round like a record baby] - and for some reason, "Fly the Flag", has popped into my mind?
How does that work?
Flying a flag means running it up the flag pole - how does that get us from Heathrow to Inverness? - "Confused again like I was last Summer. Confused again like I was last year".... please stop, argh)
Logistical Contortions
The trip to Amsterdam...
(where we did in fact see tulips - I do have photos - I'be been going to generate a link to them for some time - but things change, time passes and memories fade...)
..was managed by flying from Bristol after a daring early morning drive using the A303, A36 and assorted (liquorice? ed) B roads,; to pick up Uncle Mike and drive slowly through one of the most scenic routes to Bristol Airport ever envisioned.
Seriously, I would go back and drive it again - and I don't like driving (or Tuesday's)
.
Utterly stunning countryside, fantastic views, beautiful villages, majestic trees and finally with what seemed like infinite succession of articulated lorries coming the opposite direction, each with gesticulating drivers pointing at their SatNavs and shrugging their shoulders at us as we were forced to reverse around blind bends, just praying that there was not another articulated lorry coming up from behind us.
Apparently we used KLM...
(or their partner airline, with the fulfilment of the flight being KLM, it really is quite confusing. For some reason I just recall the "KLM blue" close fitting trousers worn by one of the air stewardesses - after that the flight became one of my many many happy places. [Best you don't read this bit Bridget])
... which was a good thing (not quite sure why it was a good thing, possibly because it was a Dutch airline and it was flying to Holland - ed)
Where am I going with this post.
I really haven't a clue, which is generally the time I need to stop.
Tulips from Amsterdam.
Apparently I have already blogged a link to the photos from the Amsterdam trip.
Unfortunately...
(or fortunately for those who are long time readers suffering as a consequence of reading this blog - R U Sure U Mean That ed?)
...it has been overtaken by yet another trip to Scotland - the aforementioned ...
(possibly a3mentioned - depending on my mood - ed)
...trip to Inverness - Ullapool - Skype - Fort William...
(dang nabbit - finally remembered the name of the place - well we did end up spending a night there in an unexpected hotel - "Whaddaya Mean Unexpected Hotel?" - and yes there is a story about an unexpected hotel to relate if I can get this out before The Household Sanity (tm) spots me writing this. A post, a post, my kingdom for a post - circulation ed)
...and back to Inverness.
Packing Density
One, of potentially many problems, going to Scotland in May, is that you just canna (she canna take it Cap'n - TOS ed) trust the weather.
The problem was what to pack to cope with the multitude of potential weather scenarios.
The kitchen sink was discarded early on in the game; this meant the kitchen refit has been postponed yet again. IF (big bold if - ed) we had taken the kitchen sink to Scotland we could have fly-tipped it on arrival which would have forced us into buying a new kitchen sink or perhaps a whole new kitchen on our return home.
Though, in the mean time, it would have been fun running the taps with no kitchen sink, do I mean fun - probably not - but it would have been watery and we all know, "water = fun", don't we?
Focus - damn it.
And focus -> back to the weather.
Apparently the best process is to pack for all weathers...
(though the sun tan lotion, Italian loafers and swimming trunks weren't taken, which on reflection turned out to be a partial mistake.
An hour or so on a calm day in and around Portree on a boat, looking at seals, Sea Eagles and failing to spot assorted cetaceans, caused Bridget to get a burnt nose - well it was the only part of her that wasn't fully covered, so the sun tan lotion wouldn't have been so stupid after all - such is life ed)
... so we did.
We packed for all weathers and nary a drop of rain was felt over the whole six days.
"What, you went to Scotland and it didn't rain!".
Yup, this is absolutely true, though we did claim credit for bringing the good weather with us.
Locals
The locals...
(well the few that I managed to corner; as they are smart and quick and kept seeing me coming; and managed talk at [to], did seem to suggest that it had snowed, blown a gale and horizontally rained the previous week.
But I think they were just exaggerating to make us feel special. They really know how to treat visitors.)
...for some reason kept on changing, that is, they were not the same locals each day!
I think that this was linked with us driving from place to place and they could not keep up with us.
I guess the locals have their own lives to live in their local towns and villages. How weird is that?
I have two theories about the locals telling us about the weather:
1. They really had had bad weather the previous week (had had bad - brilliant - English ed)
2. They actually had great weather the previous week and they were just pretending it was bad to make us feel good.
I vote 2.
(Where is William of Ockham and his razor when you need him - sanity ed)
Losing the plot
What gave me great pleasure...
(well that certainly cannot to be mentioned on a family blog - ed)
... escapes me - I wandered back to correct something I wrote earlier.... and now I haven't a clue where I was going with that..... if it comes back to me at some point I will return and continue from this point ->.<- here.
We went to Scotters Botters the first week in May...
(2017 - I mention the year for those of you who have lost not only the will to live whilst reading this post but who have been pricked by a spinning wheel and are waking up many many years later after being kissed by a Prince [May he rest in peace - musical ed] or a frog - I forget which is the right one.
Though some of my reader(s) feedback, who when asked, expressed a preference said, "Just get on with it", I mean how rude can they be? - ed)
... in case you were wondering.
(They will have all wandered off by now - circulation ed. Were you going anywhere with this?)
Errm, no - well and truly lost the thread.
Time to move on to something I can remember. I'm 89 years odd you know (do you mean old? Nope - I know exactly what I mean - ed) .
Did I mention Uncle Mike?
Uncle Mike, who had also expressed a preference, but despite that, still wanted to come along with us on our Road Trip Around Scotland - With Exceptional Weather (tm) just for the fun.
The Amsterdam Trip - With Sightings of Van Gogh (tm) had been such a roaring success last year, he wanted to do it again.
Strangely we had fabulous weather in Amsterdam too - it just may be that Uncle Mike is our lucky weather mascot. He is available out on loan, for a modestly large fee, please contact me if this is of any interest.
(I would like to say that there is an, "Amsterdam Trip - the Untold Story", blog post lurking somewhere in my mental back log ....
along with oh so many many other things...
so don't hold your breath - unless you happen to be underwater and trying for the Guinness Book of Records longest breath underwater record.....
...in that case do hold your breath!
But even then it won't be long enough to hang on until the Amsterdam blog post is published.
If you like I could publish a holding post with just the title and a TBC if you like, if it would help.
Helpful is my middle name after all.)
Did I mention Bridget?
Bridget, who had also expressed a preference, "I am not flying out of Bristol with Easy Jet, so bite me", or some words to that effect, decided we would be heading to Inverness...
(I am not at all sure how I can suggest, in writing, how nice Inverness sounds when spoken with the local Scottish accent (Inverness version) - it simply makes me quiver - but then so many things do - "Toast", or, "Apple Crumble" generally do it - whatever the accent - Strange But True ed)
... from Heathrow and be flying BA...
(I was and am still unclear what Business Analysts have to do with aviation, but perhaps I am wearing my stupid hat again - ed)
(On another thread - mental wheels are just keep on spinning [round and round like a record baby] - and for some reason, "Fly the Flag", has popped into my mind?
How does that work?
Flying a flag means running it up the flag pole - how does that get us from Heathrow to Inverness? - "Confused again like I was last Summer. Confused again like I was last year".... please stop, argh)
Logistical Contortions
The trip to Amsterdam...
(where we did in fact see tulips - I do have photos - I'be been going to generate a link to them for some time - but things change, time passes and memories fade...)
..was managed by flying from Bristol after a daring early morning drive using the A303, A36 and assorted (liquorice? ed) B roads,; to pick up Uncle Mike and drive slowly through one of the most scenic routes to Bristol Airport ever envisioned.
Seriously, I would go back and drive it again - and I don't like driving (or Tuesday's)
.
Utterly stunning countryside, fantastic views, beautiful villages, majestic trees and finally with what seemed like infinite succession of articulated lorries coming the opposite direction, each with gesticulating drivers pointing at their SatNavs and shrugging their shoulders at us as we were forced to reverse around blind bends, just praying that there was not another articulated lorry coming up from behind us.
Apparently we used KLM...
(or their partner airline, with the fulfilment of the flight being KLM, it really is quite confusing. For some reason I just recall the "KLM blue" close fitting trousers worn by one of the air stewardesses - after that the flight became one of my many many happy places. [Best you don't read this bit Bridget])
... which was a good thing (not quite sure why it was a good thing, possibly because it was a Dutch airline and it was flying to Holland - ed)
Where am I going with this post.
I really haven't a clue, which is generally the time I need to stop.
Tulips from Amsterdam.
Apparently I have already blogged a link to the photos from the Amsterdam trip.
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